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         of Resistance: Anti-anorexia/anti-bulimia
          
         
         
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         David Epston, All rights
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         40
      
      

         
Questioning
         Spirit
      
   
   

      

         
Aug.9th,2001
      
      

         
Sandy, aged 37 years
      
   








   

      

         

      
      

         
The Questioning
         Spirit
         
         
 
         
         
Why, why, why?
         
         
Why set as
         examples
         
         
women too thin to be
         healthy?
         
         
Why set as
         examples
         
         
women too thin to be the
         norm?
         
         
Why set as
         examples
         
         
women too thin for us to
         follow?
         
         
 
         
         
Why hold as
         good
         
         
thinness beyond
         health?
         
         
Why hold as
         good
         
         
fleshless
         bones?
         
         
Why hold as
         good
         
         
women so thin,
         
         
their spirits encaged in
         bones?
         
         
their souls imprisoned in
         ribs?
         
         
and their hearts trapped
         in torturing deprivation,
         
         
the very deprivation that
         traps us,
         
         
traps us in
         despair
         
         
traps us in a deadly
         battle?
         
         
 
         
         
Who made up the
         rules?
         
         
Who inflicted them on
         us,
         
         
crushing our
         essence
         
         
and depriving us of
         joy?
         
         
 
         
         
I want to fight
         back
         
         
Yet it feels like a
         lonely battle,
         
         
ever
         surrounded
         
         
with media
         thinness;
         
         
Ever
         surrounded
         
         
By others
         entrapped.
         
         
I grow weary of the
         battle.
         
         
I must fight
         on.
         
         
I am my only
         hope.
         
         
 
         
         
Though thinness ever
         tempts me,
         
         
I know no joy
         
         
from starving
         myself
         
         
Only pain, greyness and
         hopelessness
         
         
ever striving
         
         
ever failing.
         
         
I could never be thin
         enough-
         
         
Thin enough to free my
         spirit
         
         
Thin enough to free my
         soul.
         
         
 
         
         
Rather freedom
         lies
         
         
In stepping back from the
         lies
         
         
in listening to my
         body
         
         
in caring for who I
         am.
         
         
 
         
         
I am worthy of
         life
         
         
If for no other
         reason
         
         
Than that I
         exist
         
         
That I have a
         heart
         
         
That I have a
         spirit
         
         
That I have a
         soul
         
         
 
         
         
I have fought to
         survive
         
         
I won't give up
         now.
         
         
 
         
         
Sandy (aged
         37)