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Archive
         of Resistance: Anti-anorexia/anti-bulimia
          
         
         
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         David Epston, All rights
         reserved
      
   
   

      

         Number
         
         
51
      
      

         ANOREXIA, A
         POEM
         
         

      
   
   

      

         
Date: May
         2005
      
      

         
NICOLLE, aged 13
      
   









   

      

         

      
      

         
 
         
         
ANOREXIA
         
         
I hear you
         
         
 
         
         
I know it's you
         
         
 
         
         
When you came into my
         life
         
         
 
         
         
I wanted you there
         
         
 
         
         
You made me feel good
         
         
 
         
         
I felt strong
         
         
 
         
         
But I was really weak
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
You tore apart so many
         relationships
         
         
 
         
         
And hurt so many people
         
         
 
         
         
Especially me
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
Yet I still want you
         there
         
         
 
         
         
Part of me clings to you
         
         
 
         
         
Like the shoulder of a
         friend
         
         
 
         
         
Who gives support
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
But you have to leave
         
         
 
         
         
I'm going to make you
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
If you stay
         
         
 
         
         
I know you'll kill me
         
         
 
         
         
So I hate you
         
         
 
         
         
You ruined my life
         
         
 
         
         
And made me love it
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
Now I don't know if I can trust
         myself
         
         
 
         
         
It's your fault
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
But I can still hear your
         voice
         
         
 
         
         
Sometimes it sounds so
         reasonable
         
         
 
         
         
That I want to listen
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
It's hard not to listen
         
         
 
         
         
To get rid of you
         
         
 
         
         
It seems so impossible
         
         
 
         
         
I don't know if I ever
         will
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
Maybe I'll always hear
         you
         
         
 
         
         
But that doesn't mean I have to
         listen
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
Someday you won't be a
         problem
         
         
 
         
         
You'll go away
         
         
 
         
         
I'll be normal
         
         
 
         
         
And I'll be free
         
         
 
         
         
From your restrictions and
         rules
         
         
 
         
         
AND MOST OF ALL,
         PUNISHMENTS
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
 
         
         
Someday I'll be free
         
         
 
         
         
There's a separation between you
         and me
         
         
 
         
         
A fine line
         
         
 
         
         
That now I can see