MASK

It is an African tribal expression of the paradox of joy and sorrow

Inspired by Kahlil Gibran's writings on Joy and Sorrow

The depth of my joy/happiness is the measure of my sadness  

The mask depicts the existence of a simultaneous duality

The one side is affirming and speaks of Life, Love and Light, while the other side belongs to Self starvation and anorexia. Self starvation and Anorexia want me to close my eyes to life and dis-affirms my right to live as I choose.

The third eye symbolizes INSIGHT: It means I am able to see beyond the duality and to accept MY truth as MY RIGHT to live. The truth is that Self starvation feeds on half-truths and poorly disguised lies.

I can accept the truth "The truth will set me free (like prune juice!)"

The truth is I am scared of going home from the clinic, so Self starvation convinces me that if I eat the way it wants to, the voices and images will remain alive..... Bulimia wants me to eat and eat and eat as overeating is a gateway to the symptoms of illness, e.g. self harm and voices. Anorexia/Bulimia would isolate me from my loved ones and chain me in fear of perfection......the nurses will not understand and inject me with more sedatives, resulting in a longer hospital stay. It wants me to miss my work opportunities and become an invalid.

I REFUSE TO COMPLY WITH YOU, ANOREXIA/BULIMIA/SELF STARVATION/SELF HARM

Perfectionism expects me to participate 100% once I am home, BUT I won't:

I choose to accept my current reality

I will not be able to drive my car for a while

I will accept challenges at my own pace because I will still be slightly affected by the long acting medications I have received in the clinic

I will take my time

I accept my home will be in a bit of a mess; but I will manage it in my own way and at my own pace

I choose to be with my husband and my children; in my own space

IT IS MY RIGHT TO LIVE IN MY OWN HOME AND TO DO MY JOB.

 

BACK